If someone sounding like your child, parent or partner calls asking for money urgently, pause the request, end the incoming call and contact them using a number you already trust. If you can't reach them, call another trusted person who can help check the story. A familiar voice alone isn't proof of who is speaking. That's the practical starting point in the FTC's family emergency scam guidance.
I'd rather your family decide how to do that over a quiet cup of coffee than try to invent a plan while someone is pressuring you. You don't need to become an expert in artificial intelligence. You need a few people to agree on what happens next.
Why listening more carefully isn't the whole answer
Voice cloning uses software to imitate a person's voice from recorded audio. The FTC warns that scammers can use it to make an urgent request sound as though it comes from someone you know. You shouldn't have to decide whether a shaky voice sounds sufficiently real before you're allowed to check. The FTC's voice-cloning advice points readers toward independently contacting the person.
The number on the screen isn't a reliable identity check either. Caller ID can be falsified. If a caller claims to represent a hospital, police department or another organization, find its number independently; don't use a number or link the caller supplies. The FTC's imposter-scam guide explains both issues.
My recommendation is to make verification an ordinary family habit. Anyone can say, “I'm going to check and call you back.” That sentence should mean you're taking the situation seriously, not that you don't care.
Make a callback plan everyone can use
Start with the people who might receive an unexpected call: parents, grandparents, caregivers and older children as appropriate. Ask everyone to check the saved contact details together. If someone changes their number later, update the plan through a conversation you already trust.
Use this small worksheet as a discussion guide. Fill in the answers privately. Don't post completed contact details or a family verification phrase online, and don't send them to us through a contact form.
| Decide together | What to write in your private copy |
|---|---|
| Who will we call first? | A trusted person's name and their already-confirmed number. |
| Who is the backup? | A second trusted contact if the first person doesn't answer. |
| What can we say under pressure? | “I need to check this. I'll call back using the number I already have.” |
| How will each person find the numbers? | Saved contacts, or a private paper copy in an agreed place if that is easier. |
| When will we practice again? | A date, plus a reminder to update the plan when a number or caregiver changes. |
Then try using it. Can a grandparent find the right contact without scrolling through a long list? Does a caregiver know whom to call if both parents are unavailable? If someone doesn't use a smartphone comfortably, adapt the plan to the phone they actually use.
These are practical checks you can make together, not a test anyone has to pass. The best plan is one your family can find and follow.
A private phrase can help, with limits
The FBI recommends agreeing on a secret word or phrase with family members as an identity check. That recommendation appears in its May 2025 impersonation advisory. The advisory concerned officials and their contacts; it isn't evidence of a new local incident affecting your family.
If you use a phrase, agree on it privately. I wouldn't choose something displayed on social media, reuse an account password, or reveal the answer to help a caller guess it. Treat it as an extra check alongside the callback plan, rather than permission to send money because someone supplied one correct answer. If it becomes known outside the intended group, agree on a replacement through a trusted conversation.
A forgotten phrase also isn't proof that a genuine relative is lying. It means you still need another way to verify the request.
Rehearse once without frightening anyone
Here is a fictional practice scenario: an adult reads, “It's me. My phone broke. I need you to send money to this new account, and I can't explain right now.” Nobody places a real call, sends money or shares a real verification phrase.
Ask three questions together:
- What would you say to give yourself time?
- Which saved contact would you call to check?
- If that person didn't answer, who would you try next?
Let children practice asking a trusted adult for help. They don't need responsibility for investigating the caller or deciding whether to pay. Tell everyone in advance that this is pretend, and skip the exercise if it feels upsetting. The point is to make asking for help familiar.
For a separate conversation about unexpected messages, our family suspicious-link activity offers another way to practice pausing and checking. My Cyber Detectives series is also intended to help adults start conversations about safer online habits. You can view The Chatty Catfish on Amazon; the activity above needs no book purchase.
If the situation might be real, or money has already gone
This plan is for verifying an unexpected request, not delaying help when someone is in immediate danger. In the United States, call 911 for an emergency requiring immediate police, fire or ambulance assistance. The National 911 Program explains when to call.
If you think you've paid a scammer, contact the bank, card issuer or payment provider promptly using its official app or a known number. Explain what happened and ask whether the payment can be stopped or reversed. Recovery isn't guaranteed. If you shared a password, change it and any reused copies, and enable two-factor authentication, which adds another sign-in check. Use the FTC's recovery guidance for the steps that match what you shared, and report the scam at ReportFraud.ftc.gov.
Start with two contacts tonight
Choose the first person and the backup. Confirm their numbers. Practice the sentence you'll use when you need time to check. That's a useful first step even if the rest of your household technology needs attention.
If you'd like help reviewing the devices, accounts and network your family relies on, see our Home IT services or book a Home IT conversation. We'll discuss the support that fits your household. Managed devices and network protection don't establish who is speaking on a phone call; the family verification plan still matters.
